The rallier
Neha Ruch
The Ralliers is a collection of interviews with female creators we admire. We look for women who make hard choices in exchange for self-defined lives. You'll leave these stories with wisdom, comfort and beauty too.
Describe yourself.
After a decade in brand and strategy for women’s brands, I found my purpose and impact in motherhood and chose to pause and eventually shift my career. In meeting so many other ambitious women leaning into family life, I started Mother Untitled to change the narrative about women making this choice and to keep women feeling empowered during this chapter of their life. I run the project alongside raising my two children in a home on the upper west side of New York.
You have a chance at any time in your life to rewrite your unique metrics for success and revisit them over and over.
How have you broken with traditions or norms created by other people in exchange for a self-defined life?
In this culture we’ve come to associate success with career titles and salary. And I subscribed to that in my twenties and felt by all societal constructs, successful. When I chose to become a stay at home mother I felt a deep sense of trust and confidence that the pause for family life and the shifts to come would lead me to where I was meant to go next. Indeed I found more clarity, confidence and creativity in the last 5 years. You have a chance at any time in your life to rewrite your unique metrics for success and revisit them over and over.
Tell us about your work.
Mother Untitled has been the work I’ve found the most fulfilling second only to raising my children. The narrative about women choosing to focus on family life was so outdated as media abandoned the black and white notion of the stay at home mother somewhere in the 70s when the feminist movement was picking up steam. Thus, women who wanted to make the choice to shift for family were left feeling a lack of power, confidence and potential.
Mother Untitled is a platform to connect women in this stage of life to derive a shared sense of creativity and possibility. I adore the content side of the work because I can see real-time the content that resonates but I’m thoroughly excited about the membership community because the resources and events let us deliver on the promise that the pause or shift can actually allow you to grow in ways you didn’t expect.
What do you want us to know about shifting or pausing your career for motherhood?
The focus on family life can allow you the room to grow and create in ways that are underrated. There is no greater motivation than children and no more of an expectation of authenticity than in motherhood. By making room for family life you’ll actually discover room to work on things that were left unchecked in the workplace (hi patience!) and you’ll inevitably be forced to reexamine what really gives you a sense of impact.
What do you most want other women to know?
Balance is such a hot topic in the motherhood circles and if I’ve learned one thing in both my work fostering this community and in my own experience, balance is simply a constant recalibration of what serves you right now and an acceptance of what has to give for right now. Right now being the key phrase. Any choice you make does not have to be forever - you can re-evaluate at any time so tune into what feels right for right now and trust yourself that it will serve you on the other side.
What are you searching for?
What am I looking for? More margin. My current day to day in the Fall feels very scheduled between childcare, work on MU and family admin. I'm always searching for a way to move through the to-dos with more ease and space.
What brings you ease?
I start every morning the same way with a 10 minute calm meditation and a 2 minute journaling in my notes on my iPhone of gratitude and intention setting. The gratitude list starts my day with a sense of seeing the good and the intention setting list lets me go into the day with the right mindset. Often that mindset is that this all passes and everything is natural and meant for our evolution. It lets me hold the difficult moments in parenting or the uncomfortable moments in work or relationships more lightly.
Tell us about your Uniform.
Style both in my home and on myself is something I’ve always valued and have made an effort to maintain in motherhood because the little details help elevate the ordinary days. To me both in our home and in my clothing I want to reflect a sense of ease, warmth - the combination of which to me is elegance. I’m currently living in Moussy Vintage jeans and a Frank & Eileen soft button down.
Share a good read, watch, or listen
I’m reading Abby Jiminez’s series because they’re fun and light and I think after the year we’ve had we deserve it! My husband and I are currently into Lupin but that’s only because we’re out of episodes of This Is Us. I’m listening to The Second Life pod and More Than One Thing because both celebrate the non-linear career path.
Something you've just discovered.
My skin suddenly in mid 30s changed so my new swear-bys are all things by Joanna Vargas including her facials but for those of you who aren’t in New York, the Vitamin C serum, exfoliating mask and hydrating mask have done wonders to correct for the dark spots.
A gift you gave someone.
I just sent a little Petit Bateau zip up that belonged to my son when he was a toddler to a friend with a new baby boy. Honestly, the friend and I have fallen out of touch and I was going through old things and found it and it just looked so her (speaking of style!) There’s something about hand me downs that carry so much love and this one felt so right to share.
Share a Takeaway.
While my work is about empowering women in a stage of life focused on family, I am a firm believer that there is no one way or right way to raise a family. The only thing that truly serves your children is for you to be at your happiest and healthiest. For some women that means working, for some that’s not for right now, for some it’s somewhere in between. No matter what, the kids are all right.
Neha is a New York City based mother to two and founder of Mother Untitled, a platform for ambitious women leaning into family life. You can find more on www.motheruntitled.com and follow along @motheruntitled on Instagram.
P.S. The pieces in our stories are always authentically picked. When purchased, we sometimes receive compensation in return. Thank you for supporting!
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